Where is Whitney Houston?

I, along with many, felt sadness on hearing than Whitney Houston died yesterday. Whitney was such an icon of success and was a household name for many. For me I loved her music, and play it frequently. So often her songs had meaningful lyrics, as well as great melody and beat. Her voice was amazing. Her name and music has been part of my life and now she is gone. It seems unbelievable!!

The death of such a famous person brings us to earth with a reality that life is temporary, fragile and no one knows how many days,weeks  or years we have to live. My youngest sister died just over a year ago, and not a day goes by without me thinking of her and the fact that one day I was able to talk to her and then the next day all that was left of her was a lifeless body. She had gone - the sister I knew was no longer there. A body is just a shell, a home for the real part of us, and in death that essence of who we are no longer remains in that body. Whitney Houston has gone - but where ? Paramedics tried to resuscitate life back in to Whitney's body, but the real Whitney was no longer there.


As a Christian, I believe that the real essence of a person (their spirit) after going through the experience of death goes to one of 2 places - either to where God is - their Creator, Father, Saviour to continue to live a life purposed for them, in continued relationship with God but in another spiritual dimension. Or they go to a spiritual place where God is not, and continue a life without a relationship with God because of their choice on earth not to have a relationship with their Creator.

Although I miss Jay, my sister, and my mind wrestles with her emptiness death brings, I do have comfort as I know she is with God, because of the choices she made when she was still here. I also know that one day I will see her again and she is free from pain and sadness now.

None of us truly know where Whitney Houston is right now. I hope she is with God and she could be. She was brought up in church where she would have heard about God and the fact the Jesus was the way to a relationship with God after leaving this earth.

I was powerfully impacted by "The Preacher's Wife" in which she sang many songs about God and Jesus. For me the movie was deeply spiritual and pointed and strengthened me to continue in my faith and belief in God. I believe Whitney Houston had opportunities to know God personally. Her later life's struggles - broken marriage, drug and substance abuse show that she was deeply hurting , trying to find her way. Don't we all go through troubled times where we try everything except God's way? I do believe that in the last moments of her consciousness God would have given Whitney one last choice to have a lasting relationship with Him. I do hope and pray that Whitney took that opportunity and in those last moments made the best choice of her life.

Step by Step I'm Moving Forward

A journey starts with the first step, and then the next step, and then the next and the next.....

I've always been incredibly impressed with Abraham who set out in blind obedience to God with all his family, animals, and possessions -  to go to a place that God would show him. He had no idea where he was going and yet he just set out in faith. I often wonder what that would be like. Did he just start walking trusting that God would guide his feet on the way? Did he fall into thinking too much - should I go this way or that way? If he was anything like me he might be second guessing after he started out whether he had heard right - whether he should have gone east instead of west etc.

It says in Proverbs 16 v 9 "The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps." - and I know that God's plans are usually far better and greater than ours. It's definitely easier to steer a vehicle that's moving rather than one that is stationary. Still we really want to know where God is taking us don't we and are so impatient in waiting? Back to Abraham again - he was promised by God that his descendants would be many - but he got tired of waiting and tried to make it happen and as a result Ishmael was born. What would have happened if he had waited patiently until God gave him Isaac? Our history books would be very different that's for sure!!

So what about my journey into 2012 so far?

Well it started off with a period of time( at least 10 days) where I felt incredibly tired and had no energy. I wasn't sick but it felt horrible. I had peace but felt like a zombie!! No or very little work got done, but God was faithful and provided for me with an unexpected cheque - just in time for me to pay my home insurance bill.

I've been thinking a lot (and wasting a lot time on the computer,) and praying, and pondering which direction to take in my business - there are 3 possible directions I could focus on and it's still unclear.
The question always boils down to what do I really want to do with my life and where is my heart? Or the even bigger question "What does God want for my life?"

I daily commit my way and day to God to lead me and direct me, and so like Abraham need to trust that He is. Who knows - it could be that God has been doing some deep foundational stuff within me- perhaps healing and I don't need to know on a conscious level what that is! On the surface I do feel lacking in self discipline as the work is just not happening as I think it should be, however I do sense that the fog is clearing and in the last few days, as I have responded to inner promptings,  feel I am getting back in touch with what really matters and taken a couple of small steps forward.

I am always getting good ideas - starting to work on them and not finishing them as I start to doubt if they were right in the first place. However this time is different - as I'm trusting God to direct my steps.

Here are some steps I've taken and I will share my journey in future posts.

 --I felt I should volunteer at MissionFest at the end of January and so have signed up for 2 afternoons.
 --I went to visit a couple in the church who head up the Missions Committee at church.

As a result of those steps I sense I am more called to helping people who are Christians than to become Christians. I also am wondering whether my experience in online marketing and social media can be used to improve communication and exposure for Christian organizations.

Moving forward I am going to find out more about what my church does in helping new Christians to learn about the basic things of being a Christian - how to pray, how to read God's Word, etc. Maybe I can help. Also can my experience be used to increase the awareness of missions and those serving God in missions in my local church and maybe further afield?

I will attend MissionFest with the intention of serving, learning, meeting and talking with people in the process of exploring my next steps.

2012 A New Start

Everybody sees a New Year as an opportunity for a new start at some level and I am no exception. For me though it feels different. I'm giving up trying to get by on my own. I am releasing it to God to work out.
For the last decade I've worked my butt off and just survived financially. Fed up by 'church works' and hurt by experiences and people in the church I stopped going and tried to make it on my own. Separated from my husband (a church leader) in 2004, burned out and emotionally and spiritually frail I dove into self help books and teaching and created a new life for myself.

Last year I started going back to church  I want to walk in God's ways and He has met me and I am healing. New Years Eve 2011 - last night I feeling totally frustrated spent time alone with God and felt prompted to dig out an old book from the bookshelf. "How to Live Beyond Your Means by Russ Johnston with Maureen Rank. Written in the 60's the examples are outdated, but the truths and principles hold true to the passing of time - and I am giving God permission to fulfill whatever He wants in my life His way and I'm officially going to try to let go making it happen.

I'm writing my experiences in this outdated,almost impossible to find blog - and if God wants someone to read it, I can be certain that He will lead that person here and maybe have something to say to them through my writing. His Choice!! I have the skills to market this blog but No! this has to be God's doing not mine. I'm throwing out the gauntlet God!

My desire has always been to be used by God to encourage Christians and even dare I say it be used by God to set others free from the things that stop them knowing God and walking closer with Him. I want to be that channel again - my intention is to document that journey starting today. This story is how God does it without me trying to make it work.

I pray God's blessing on you if you are reading this - that maybe you too will trust God to provide for your needs in every area of your life and see Him work on your behalf.

Barb