I've always been incredibly impressed with Abraham who set out in blind obedience to God with all his family, animals, and possessions - to go to a place that God would show him. He had no idea where he was going and yet he just set out in faith. I often wonder what that would be like. Did he just start walking trusting that God would guide his feet on the way? Did he fall into thinking too much - should I go this way or that way? If he was anything like me he might be second guessing after he started out whether he had heard right - whether he should have gone east instead of west etc.
It says in Proverbs 16 v 9 "The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps." - and I know that God's plans are usually far better and greater than ours. It's definitely easier to steer a vehicle that's moving rather than one that is stationary. Still we really want to know where God is taking us don't we and are so impatient in waiting? Back to Abraham again - he was promised by God that his descendants would be many - but he got tired of waiting and tried to make it happen and as a result Ishmael was born. What would have happened if he had waited patiently until God gave him Isaac? Our history books would be very different that's for sure!!
So what about my journey into 2012 so far?
Well it started off with a period of time( at least 10 days) where I felt incredibly tired and had no energy. I wasn't sick but it felt horrible. I had peace but felt like a zombie!! No or very little work got done, but God was faithful and provided for me with an unexpected cheque - just in time for me to pay my home insurance bill.
I've been thinking a lot (and wasting a lot time on the computer,) and praying, and pondering which direction to take in my business - there are 3 possible directions I could focus on and it's still unclear.
The question always boils down to what do I really want to do with my life and where is my heart? Or the even bigger question "What does God want for my life?"
I daily commit my way and day to God to lead me and direct me, and so like Abraham need to trust that He is. Who knows - it could be that God has been doing some deep foundational stuff within me- perhaps healing and I don't need to know on a conscious level what that is! On the surface I do feel lacking in self discipline as the work is just not happening as I think it should be, however I do sense that the fog is clearing and in the last few days, as I have responded to inner promptings, feel I am getting back in touch with what really matters and taken a couple of small steps forward.
I am always getting good ideas - starting to work on them and not finishing them as I start to doubt if they were right in the first place. However this time is different - as I'm trusting God to direct my steps.
Here are some steps I've taken and I will share my journey in future posts.
--I felt I should volunteer at MissionFest at the end of January and so have signed up for 2 afternoons.
--I went to visit a couple in the church who head up the Missions Committee at church.
As a result of those steps I sense I am more called to helping people who are Christians than to become Christians. I also am wondering whether my experience in online marketing and social media can be used to improve communication and exposure for Christian organizations.
Moving forward I am going to find out more about what my church does in helping new Christians to learn about the basic things of being a Christian - how to pray, how to read God's Word, etc. Maybe I can help. Also can my experience be used to increase the awareness of missions and those serving God in missions in my local church and maybe further afield?
I will attend MissionFest with the intention of serving, learning, meeting and talking with people in the process of exploring my next steps.
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